suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
