my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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