Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
