i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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