That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
