i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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