yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
