i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
