What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Watching her eat just hurts me
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
