We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
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