I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
