singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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