so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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