If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
