Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
