Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
