omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
