You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
