It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
