question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
