There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
