I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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