I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
