Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
