im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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