Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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