i just made my gag reflex go away.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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