I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
