does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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