I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
