I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
