My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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