um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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