Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
