Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
