Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
