what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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