I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
