Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
