beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
