Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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