sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
