what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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