My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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