dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
