wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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