Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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