I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
