last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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