I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
bring money and cleavage
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Come on in and take your pants off
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