Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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